This post potentially makes me very vulnerable but I feel it’s so important to share as it gives you an insight into what it is like to live with dyslexia. It demonstrates how dyslexia can create stress and anxiety and the importance of understanding that you have dyslexia, so you can seek help and reassurance!
I have a child going on a school trip soon which goes through two countries of Europe.
The current guidance on whether you need to test for you know what or not is so confusing and blows my mind! I can read it, I can read every word I can decode it and I can roughly make sense of it and I think I know what to do. However each country is slightly different and there are several scenarios to consider.
I’ve been reading this info since Tuesday… today is Friday. Here are my worries:
- What if I have not read it right or I have misread it or have missed something vital.
- What if I order the wrong tests – they are expensive and I don’t want to order anything I don’t need and waste money.
- This isn’t about me, this about one of my children so it won’t just be me that looks stupid if I have read it wrong, it will be my child too.
- The implications of getting it wrong are quite big! My child in another country without a parent to negotiate!
My child is 12 and it’s so confusing as in the guidance they use 12 twice! 12-17 and Under 12s… and what you have to do for each one is different. They are going by coach, not by plane, and much of the guidance and forms are for planes not coaches. I’ve been reading it for 3 days on and off, reading and rereading, checking, double checking.
- I have so far have nearly ordered tests 3 times but not quite gone through with it, because I’ll read the info once more and then make a decision.
- I have contacted a friend who is a travel agent, they are an expert and I have asked them I check.
- I have messaged another parent to check I have understood it correctly.
- I have emailed school to do a final check I have got it right!
This has created so much anxiety and additional stress I can tell you! Now I understand I’m dyslexic, I absolutely know I have to ask for help, check double check, check again and check again and can absolutely see how if you didn’t understand you had dyslexia how this would be a barrier, how you would feel embarrassed and ashamed. Many people would and do give up and would decide it was easier to stay at home!
I have assessed so many undiagnosed adults who …
- Don’t have passports because they can’t get past the form, so therefore have never travelled!
- Have not applied for promotions because they have been worried by the language in the job spec.
- Have backed out of attending courses because they have seen what they have to read and don’t feel it’s possible for them.
We have to build an awareness of dyslexia in our communities so that we can support and help each other out. I was that annoying student who asked the same question several times to make sure I understood correctly; the one who teachers asked ‘were you even listening?’ I am that annoying parent who emails school to double check. The one that teachers ask to each other in the staffroom, ‘has she even read the letter?’ I have learnt to accept that if I want to do things I have to put myself out there and ask the questions in order to get it right! This can lead to embarrassing moments, feeling shame and, ultimately, stupid on many occasions.
But it doesn’t make me less than… or unintelligent. t just means this is how I have to do things to cope.
So next time someone asks you a question you think they should know the answer too, or you ping them an email back with the link to the document and tell them it’s all in there. It is possible they are dyslexic and are seeking reassurance and help without actually admitting it! Don’t make them read. Talk to them. Have a discussion and work it out together.
If you know someone who needs an adult dyslexia assessment or want an assessment yourself get in touch.